i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Randomize
