Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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