Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
