there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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