Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
