I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
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