He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
