I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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