I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
