Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I don't deserve a penis
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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