Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
