I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
