Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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