Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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