finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
