Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
