What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
