Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
