Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize
