dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
