I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
