You really coming over, don't trick.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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