is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
