Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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