I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
