WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
