I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
