Already got asked if we're dating
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
