Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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