Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
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