I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
