I just made out with a guy for $7.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Say something about gay babies.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize
