What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
did you just send me my own nude
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
