Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
