I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
