I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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