I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
