spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Two words: nipple clamps
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