You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
