I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
