Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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