just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
