$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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