HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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