i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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