and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
