if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
