This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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