God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
