well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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