The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
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