I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
