Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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